WHETHER it’s a truck spilling its toxic payload, splashing you in the face and granting you superhuman strength and senses, or a wonky walkway causing you to fall into a vat of mutated electric eels granting you the power to exist as pure energy, workplace accidents that leave you with superpowers mean one thing – compo.
Although many of the people who gain powers from accidents opt to spend the rest of their life using them for the betterment of humanity (or in some cases, extreme supervillainy), very few of them actually do what they really should: sue the owners of the premises where the accident took place for the compensation they’re entitled to.
“Bitten on the hand by a radioactive insect? You could be looking at a sweet 30 grand right there,” said Super Claims 4 U lawyer Ian Harrison, who operates on a no-win, no-fee basis, subject to terms & conditions.
“Sure, you could live your life as a schmuck who saves the lives of people you don’t know, but wouldn’t you rather a lump sum payout? You could buy a car, or get the kitchen done. Are you’re telling me you’d rather live your life as an anonymous crime fighter? Don’t be an idiot! This is money you’re owed!”.
“Even if the accident was partially your own fault because you were snooping for answers about some mysterious secret from your past when it happened, we can talk around that once we get you in front of a judge. Most of the companies settle straight away, as they just don’t want the publicity of a trial where it comes to light that they turned an ordinary scientist into a barely-containable monster who occasionally rampages through the city, leaving devastation in his wake. Call now!”.