NOTHING says “I took a lot of drugs a few years ago” quite like the telltale scars left from when you thought it was cool to wear an eyebrow ring.
That impossible-to-mistake little divot in your brow will be there for the rest of your life, letting everyone you meet know that when it comes to choices, you made some poor ones in your time. But with surgery too expensive, you’re stuck with it… but that doesn’t mean it can’t come in useful. For example:
1) Pretend you’re about to be killed by the Predator
You can’t remove your red mark, so just add two more; this will make it look like the creature from the movie Predator is aiming at you with its signature three-dot laser sight. This might even get people to move out of your way in the queue for Starbucks!
2) Hold a coin
We’re not suggesting that the gully in your forehead from your eyebrow ring is deep enough to carry all your cash, but it’d probably grip a euro. Keep it handy so you’re not caught for a trolley anymore.
3) Pretend you were in a fight
The only other scar that looks like an eyebrow ring is the kind you get from a headbutt to the face. So maybe you can make up some story about how you got into a badass row with ten lads, rather than the truth that you were just really into Scooter in the 90s.
4) Pretend it’s the face of a twin you ate in the womb
Now THERE’S a great story in the pub. “See these two wee dots right beside each other on my forehead? Parasitic twin, that. Ate him in the womb. He sometimes makes faces at night. Tells me to do terrible things”… and then when they lean in to inspect you faces, just yell BOOO and make them shit themselves. Oh, wouldn’t that be gas.
5) Get an eyebrow ring again
The only way to cover up the scar, is to just reopen the piercing and wear your eyebrow ring again. Yes, decades have passed, but you’re still cool, right? Rock that thing at the next HR meeting. You’ve still got it!