Baptism Barrier Operator Jobs Under Threat

OVER 3,000 baptism barrier operator jobs are in jeopardy today after Minister for Education Richard Bruton announced he would be scrapping the age-old checkpoints, which gives Catholic children priority admission in 9 out of every 10 primary schools in the country.

Baptism barriers were first put in place in the late 1940s to insure every child entering a Catholic school was baptised, forcing pupils to carry their baptismal certificate upon entry at all times. Now, under a new move by the government, every barrier will be dismantled, leaving 3,176 operators redundant and allowing dozens of unknown religions through our school gates.

“What if my son falls in with the wrong crowd in the playground and becomes an Islamic State sympathiser?” asked one worried parent we egged on with a racially motivated question.

Speaking with his mouth earlier, Minister Bruton said he aims to remove the role that religion plays in the school admission process, stating that the current system is ‘a bit sectarian’ and does not reflect the reality of a modern society.

“We can’t keep refusing children from school because of their belief systems,” he said, “the EU is on our case here, lads. We have no other option but to scrap these barriers from our school and spin the move like it’s our idea”.

However, operators have now been left in limbo, not knowing what the future may bring.

“I spent 6 years in college studying and training for this job,” local baptism barrier operator, Gerry Hackett explains, “this move will only open the floodgates to multiculturalism in our schools and the general integration of our own children into this ever diversified world – I just don’t get what they’re trying to do here”.