It’s Still Black Friday, Some Fucking How

CONTRARY to the usual system of calendar-based days and dates, the new festive tradition known as Black Friday seems to have freed itself from being limited to just one Friday, and is still on, apparently.

“What confuses me is the fact that today is Tuesday, but it’s still Black Friday some fucking how” noted one confused Waterford local, browsing through an electrical goods shop where time and space seem to have evaporated.

“It would appear that rather than be limited to a Friday, as one would imagine from an event known as Black Friday, the occasion seems to have no set duration whatsoever… you get the impression that they’re just going to keep referring to each day as ‘Black Friday’ or ‘part of the Black Friday sale’ until they’ve sold all of their fridges and curved-screen TVs or whatever”.

Experts on what day of the week it is, issued a statement in which they calm the public as best they can, and assure them that the normal day-and-date procession of time will return shortly.

“Come next Wednesday, we’ll be back to Wednesdays again, ” said a spokesperson for the Irish calendar society.

“I mean, it can’t still be Black Friday two weeks after the fact, surely? Shit, if I could get away with it, I’d say it was my birthday for the whole month of August, instead of just the 12th”.

In other news, Black Friday will continue until all your money is gone. Resistance is futile.