Boyfriend Will Watch Any Movie As Long As It Has ‘Explosions And Tits’

WWN has learned of a boyfriend based in the Waterford area of the country whose well-rounded appreciation of film as an artform means he will refuse to watch a movie if it doesn’t appear to contain both ‘explosions and tits’.

29-year-old Jamie Haskell’s long term girlfriend Vicky O’Byrne has been frustrated countless times on ‘movie nights’ when Haskell has staunchly denied any suggestions that lack eyeball-searing explosions and plentiful displays of breasts.

“I lied to him once and said Finding Nemo was an action movie and had guns and boobs, I dunno if he was more mad at the fact the movie made him cry or that there wasn’t any of the stuff he normally loves, he sulked for a week,” O’Byrne explained to WWN, “don’t get me wrong, action movies are great but we’ve watched so many we’re down to the shit ones Jean Claude Van Damme is making, just to feed himself”.

Despite examples like the one cited by his girlfriend, Haskell remains steadfastly passionate about only watching action movies with naked females.

“Take Die Hard for example, is it criminally underappreciated and one of the finest Hollywood movies ever made? Yes. But does it have tits? To the best of my knowledge Under Siege has a naked woman jumping out of a cake so it is by default a superior movie as it also has explosions,” the seasoned film critic mused.

“But look, I’m very, very open to watching any movie, my tastes are varied. I’ll watch Jason Statham kicking the shit out of some Russian lads be it set in space, underwater or on a plane as long as there are some tits in there too,” the cinephile added while scrolling through the action section of Netflix.