Fine Gael & Labour TDs Hospitalised With Election Fever

AS several media outlets have confirmed the presence of ‘election fever’ within the corridors of Leinster House comes the sad news that health officials have had to quarantine all Fine Gael and Labours TDs after they were struck down by election fever.

“Usually the symptoms are quite mild with election fever, and really quite easily treated, but I’ve never seen such severe cases as the ones coming into us from Leinster House,” confirmed seasonal political disease expert Dr. Fionn Casey.

Concern was expressed for several Government TDs as they began to sweat profusely, and suffer from both verbal and the more traditional forms of diarrhoea.

“We’ve found with this outbreak of election fever that the patients’ symptoms include being generous with money, actually giving it away to members of the public without a thought for their long term financial stability,” Dr. Casey added.

The presence of the fever in all Government TDs has led to people questioning whether the recent spate of photo opportunities and very public launch of widespread Government spending could have been carried out by people not in the right state of mind.

“That is a distinct possibility, one patient, a Mr. Noonan tried to give me several tax breaks as I took his blood pressure. God love the man, but he was hallucinating so much, he thought he wasn’t in a country with a huge debt to pay off,” concluded the doctor who was then called away to treat opposition party TDs who were displaying similar symptoms.