WWN Previews Ireland’s Opponents Italy

IRELAND’s penultimate Pool match sees them take on the Italians. Our rugby correspondent Vaughan Hickey Horgan O’Donnell brings you all you need to know on this Sunday’s opponents:

ITALY

Team nicknames: The Spicey Meatballs, The Enthusiastic Hand Gesturers

Biggest club teams: Treviso, The Prada Handbags

Strengths: a peristent nature which has seen the team triumph over superior rugby nations in the past, an eviable diet and lifestyle, Luciana Pavarotti singing Nessa Dorma, mafia intimidation tactics.

Weaknesses: an incredibly long list of easily called upon stereotypes which opposition teams tend to use to make fun of Italy while in the scrum or at the breakdown. Players known to become distracted when they see their faces on the stadium big screens. The Fiat Punto.

Star player: Mario

Special moves: throwing a banana over his shoulder while driving ahead of the opposition, causing them to spin out and lose ground on him. Mostly worringly he can grow several feet taller if allowed access to mushrooms.

All time try scorer: Silvio Berlusconi

WWN score predictions: 5

What to look out for: Irish fans waving at a camera with the excitement and enthusiasm of someone who has just been told they’ve won the lotto. The Rugby World Cup has also confirmed Dave O’Donnell from Castlebar will streak bollock naked onto the Olympic Stadium pitch around the 60 minute mark. Referee Jerome Garces is French so make sure to practice your ‘French bastard!’ based shouting at the TV before kick off.