Recent Bank Profits Should Pay For Everyone’s Water Charge, Insists Nation

“How about you dumb fucks seek the water charges from bank profits?” The Nation suggested to the Government today after yet more worrying news broke relating to payments being taken from pensions and wages. “Seriously, are ye that fucking thick to think we’ll pay it out of our own pocket? We’re sick of this shit, so don’t even fucking go there”.

The country’s outcry comes after the Government announced plans to introduce tough new rules which will allow judges to order employers, pension funds and the Department of Social Protection to take the unpaid charge directly from income in the event of non-payment.

“Are ye deaf, we’re not paying a red cent for any water,” added the entire Nation. “We don’t know how to make this any clearer to you. Give up, or kiss goodbye to Government”.

According to sources, homeowners who refuse to engage with Irish Water could be taken to court and the charge could be registered against the property. This means it could not be sold until the debt is paid.

“We will topple you and anyone who dares support this motion,” the Nation warned again, this time not holding any punches. “The country is sick to death of dealing with a government that is just basically a customer service department for the ECB and IMF.

“Grow a pair of balls. Go back to your masters, and tell them this water charge thing is on their tab, not ours. We’ve already paid for our mistakes. It’s time they paid for theirs”.

The measures will be set out in legislation going to Cabinet in the coming weeks and come after a weekend protest against water charges in Dublin was attended by nearly 90,000 people.

Meanwhile, the state owned AIB reported a pre-tax profit of €437m last year, while still owing the people of Ireland €29.4 billion for a bailout in 2009.

“This isn’t rocket science lads,” the Nation concluded, “just do the right thing”.