Al-Qaeda To Sue ISIS For Copyright Infringement

THE world’s most feared terrorist organisations are to battle it out in a Suadi court next month as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is being accused of copyright infringement by rival Afghani based group, Al-Qaeda.

Lawyers for both parties decided this morning to go to court following a breakdown in talks over a long-running series of copyright breaches by ISIS , including ‘beheading videos’, ‘Sniper videos’ and basic patented jihadist principles being infringed upon.

“They blatantly stole the beheading video format,” said lead lawyer for Al-Qaeda, Hussein Kamasutra. “The terrorism market is tough enough at the moment and recruitment for Al-Qaeda is down thirty percent since this time last year. ISIS are to blame for the dwindling figures and we want to see some kind of compensation being paid out in return”.

A spokesperson for ISIS responded today by saying that some senior members of Al-Qaeda were “only jealous” of the group’s ongoing success, claiming their recruitment drive did not necessarily rely on the attraction of beheading or sniper videos.

“Those Afghan boy’s be only jelly innit bro’?” said Ahman Ammin, who is currently based in Syria. “We is killin’ it over here bruv and they be only scared of our achievements. This is just a petty attempt by a bunch of past it old men trying to regain their pride”.

Meanwhile, the United States government has since added fuel to the fire by downgrading Al-Qaeda from global terrorist organisation to “a bunch of farmers with guns”.

The recent fall from grace has seen thousands of would be members transfer from the group once controlled by Osama Bin Laden controlled, to the newer, more deadly organisation.

“Al-Qaeda only offers 72 virgins for martyrs,” explained ex-member Mohammed Petal. “With ISIS I’m guaranteed twice that number, and I get my own jeep with Gatling gun. Some of the lads even get to appear on TV and everything. Al-Q has gone downhill since the big man got done.

“I’ve got kids to feed so I think I made the right move.” he concluded.

The ISIS copyright infringement trial is scheduled for the 28th of September and will be televised live on Sky News.