Tag: manchester united

Woodward Appoints Mike Bassett As Interim United Manager

SENSATIONALLY silencing all critics of the Glazer era who think those running the club have all the football knowledge Sylvester Stallone in Escape to Victory, Ed Woodward has appointed former England manager Mike Bassett as interim manager at Manchester United. “Would a ‘calculator in a suit with shit for brains’ appoint a former England manager… Read more »

Jonny Evans Revealed As A Man Utd Sleeper Agent

A SCANDAL as astonishing as recent revelations of Russian interference in British politics has been discovered at the very heart of the Premier League, WWN Sports can reveal. Manchester United’s 2-0 win over Champions League rivals on Leicester City on the final day of the season looked routine until VAR replays revealed that Leicester defender… Read more »

Man Utd Sign Fabregas In Man Utd Fan’s Head

Gary Farrell, a lifelong Manchester United fan took affirmative action last night and signed Spanish international Cesc Fabregas while simultaneously drooling on his pillow while muttering ‘come, lie beside me Cesc. Now, through ball me’. While the news that transfer signings made by fans as they dream are not transferable to real life has proved… Read more »

David Moyes To Be Brought Behind Shed And Shot

Manchester United manager David Moyes is facing the serious possibility of being taken around the back of the old shed and shot if he fails to secure his club’s first win of 2014 against Swansea this Saturday. While many football pundits have pointed out that the current Premier League champions are enduring poor form many… Read more »