Category: POLITICS

Irish Truck Rear-Ended By Russian Embassy Gates

IRISH STATE CONTROLLED MEDIA – An innocent truck carrying valuable religious items was completely destroyed by a reckless set of stationary gates operated by the Russian embassy. The truck, which has already had a statue built to it and a special commemorative stamp issued bearing its likeness, is sadly not expected to make a full… Read more »

Direct Provision Residents Reminded ‘Special Refugee Status’ Only For Ukrainians

THE IRISH government, praised for waiving visa requirements for terrified Ukrainians fleeing aerial bombardments and potential death as Vladimir Putin’s invasion rages on, has been quick to ask Direct Provision residents not to get their hopes up. “We appreciate that such welcome acknowledgement of the innate humanity of all individuals fleeing war and persecution might… Read more »

Referendum On Constitutional Right To Housing Accidentally Sold To Investment Fund

MERE HOURS after hinting a referendum on the constitutional right to housing could take place next year, Minister for Housing Darragh O’Brien has regretfully confirmed the referendum has somehow ended being purchased wholesale by a foreign investment fund. “We thought we had legislation in place to avoid this sort of thing, I don’t know how… Read more »

Government Was Hoping You Wouldn’t Find Out About €36bn Worth Of Russian Assets In Ireland

“AH, right, well it’s just, you see, em… shite,” confirmed the coalition government after it came under sustained questioning in the Dáil over the presence of €36bn of Russian assets sloshing around the IFSC in Special Purpose Vehicles. While several prominent government ministers have taken a tough line on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, it is… Read more »

“This Is Cancel Culture Gone Mad”

VLADIMIR PUTIN has labeled efforts to personally sanction him, his close allies and oligarchs as ‘cancel culture gone mad’ in a statement that is sure to be endorsed by middle aged men everywhere. “Can’t illegally invade anywhere and commit war crimes without people on Twitter and the international community trying to ruin your life, snakes… Read more »