Price Gouging, Accommodation-less Island Wondering Why Tourism Down

A ONCE bustling tourist spot has been left scratching its collective head again this year after it was revealed visitor figures have been tanked by almost half since 2019, despite prices of groceries, fuel and everything else in the country doubling with much less accommodation for tourists to stay.

“It’s like the price gouging thing isn’t working?” admitted one baffled Tourism Ireland source. “The government has taken hotels bed out of circulation by filling them with homeless people, refugees, and asylum seekers and somehow tourists just don’t want to buy a tent and camp in the rain? Where’s their sense of adventure?”

In 2019, Ireland welcomed over 10.9 million overseas holidaymakers but last year welcomed just 6.6 million, with 2025 already looking grimmer as rumours persist that apparently there are cheaper and sunnier places to visit than the second most expensive country in Europe.

Figures from the Central Statistics Office show a 10% drop in foreign visitors in May compared to the same month last year, sending a faint but persistent signal to government that maybe, just maybe, continuing to fail to hit even 50% of promised housing targets while enriching hotel owners with state contracts to the tune of €140 per bed may not be a long-term solution to housing.

“Okay, let me get this straight: if we stop extorting tourists and accommodate them, they might actually want to come here?” Minister for Tourism Peter Burke reportedly asked advisors, before then proposing a tourist levy on all hotel stays, assuming, of course, they can actually find one.

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