COP28: Daniel Plainview Strikes Oil Deal With Saudis

IN YET ANOTHER clear indication that the UN’s annual climate summit has been hijacked by oil rich nations, US oil magnate Daniel Plainview was pictured attending the conference and has reportedly struck an oil deal with the Saudis.

Suffering a hit to its reputation for having Dr Sultan al-Jabe, the head of the UAE’s state oil company, as its chairman, COP28 is proving to be a walking, talking metaphor for the ruling elite’s attitude to climate disaster.

“I want no one else to succeed,” Plainview said shortly after striking a deal with the Saudi state owned Aramco company, days after it emerged the Saudis were orchestrating attempts to artificially raise the price of oil ahead of the COP28 summit.

Plainview is also scheduled to give a talk at the summit entitled ‘Embracing Your Inner Psychopathy To Maximise Your Fossil Fuel Profits’ which is already a sellout.

“I drink your milkshake, I drink it up,” added Plainview, directly addressing the rest of the planet and the fragile ecosystem which is on the verge of collapse.

“Oh cool, I was afraid the world’s leading polluters might be at risk of having their profits slightly reduced but I needn’t have worried,” confirmed one activist watching on.

As many as 167 world leaders are expected to attend COP28 with the emphasis being placed not on averting the global temperature rise above an increase of 1.5C but on how comfy the hotel beds are, how good the food is and how sexually liberated the sex workers are.