Perfecting The Art Of Talking Pure Shite: A Guide


IF you’ve ever found yourself being talked over by someone at work or in a pub or some other social gathering, you may find yourself wondering how some people can command the attention of everyone in the room despite the fact they’re talking pure horseshit.

So rather than educate yourself and forming solid opinions that you can deliver with the proper weight and emotion, why not just try talking shite yourself? It’s easy:

1) Loudness is half the battle

Whether it’s football, politics, entertainment or current affairs, you can be the focal point of a conversation just by being the loudest person there. Yes, people may not listen to you, but you can live with them hearing you, can’t you? If you’re loud enough so that nobody else can speak, then you’re 95% of the way there.

2) Don’t focus on the details

A lot of people find themselves lost in the conversation because they worry too much about being accurate, or making a point, or being in any way entertaining. All of these concerns evaporate when you make the switch to shite talk. is what you’re saying truthful, helpful or wise? Fuck it, let someone else figure it out. You’re being heard and that’s what matters!

3) Take it online

Need to practice spluttering pure scour, but nobody wants to be in your company any more? Simply head online and keep the good times rolling in comments sections and on social media. Say what you want, when you want and run down anyone that counters you. That’s the beauty of talking shit; there’s literally no wrong way to do it! Finally you can fill whatever hole there is in your life that drove you down this path in the first place. Enjoy!