Emergency Services Attempt To Rescue Hungover Woman Lost Down Tik Tok Hole

ENTERING her 8th hour trapped on her couch down a Tik Tok hole, hungover Waterford woman Mary Power is not expected to be rescued anytime soon after family emergency services called off the rescue attempt earlier today.

“She’s too far down, we’re going to have to stand down any rescue attempt,” husband and volunteer Peter told WWN, as several familiar Tik Tok music tracks echoed around the Power sitting room.

Hungover from an unmerciful weekend session, the mother of three is expected to be freed tomorrow after supplies of take away pizza and sugary drinks were delivered in a bid to coax the 39-year-old from the abyss.

“She said she has pins and needles in her hand from holding her phone and that she can’t feel her scrolling finger, but she’s in a stable condition nonetheless,” her husband updated, who hasn’t been able to interact with his wife since late last night when she came home like a tornado and cooked whatever bits she could find from the freezer in the air fryer at 3am.

Currently scrolling through AI generated videos of the same rave girl dancing at an EDM concert, Mrs. Power has called on her family not to worry as the popular app is somehow compartmentalising her existential dread somehow and actually helping her through her ‘bastard of a hangover’.

“The short hits of Tik Tok reels are the only thing keeping me going down here, but once I get out I’ll be fine for another week or so until my next binge,” she reassured everyone, before bursting out laughing at some eejit getting lamped in a video.