Tradesman Would Have Job Done If You’d Stop Asking Stupid Fucking Questions

THE culture of working from home has had a significant negative impact on the ability of tradespeople to work efficiently during any given day, as the homeowner often holds up the job by asking inane questions for no good reason, WWN can report.

“Before Covid, we’d go into someone’s house in the morning and have it all to ourselves all day, allowing us to rock on from 8-5 without having to stop every five minutes and explain what a joist was,” sighed Waterford carpenter Mark Lennon, who claims that jobs that use to last 2 days can now stretch into a full week.

“With people working from home, they are there all day to stand over us questioning if every nail we’ve driven is done correctly. It’s at least two hours a day, wiping these people’s arses enough so they’ll finally get the hell out of your way and let you do your job. Listen pal, it’s your money you’re wasting here”.

In a bid to cut down on the culture of breathing over a tradesman asking nonsense questions all day, the Department Of Nixers has provided the following fact sheet for anyone getting work done around the house:

– If a tradesman carried it into the house, then yes it is needed for the job.

– Yes, that is enough stuff for a job this size.

– The time for questioning a tradesman’s skill or suitability for the job is before you hire him for that job.

– You are, at all times, standing in the way.

– Even if it was explained to you what bonding coat plaster was, would you really understand?