WITH THE EUPHORIA from the monumental achievement of a League Cup win, local Manchester United fan Liam O’Brien is continuing to persuade his wife to consider the name Erik Ten Tag for their newborn child.
“Dad, Mam, did you hear,” said an emotional O’Brien on the phone to his parents, “they’re after giving Rashford the goal officially, yeah 25th of the season, some run of form… oh yeah 7 ounces or something like that I think”.
As his wife Cliona cradles their child and the acceptable window for having an unnamed child dwindles, O’Brien knows he’s running out time to secure a truly meaningful name which has significant emotional resonance.
“It ticks all our boxes babe, ‘traditional yet different’ isn’t that what you said? Erik, boom, a name people know, the ‘Teg Hag’ bit is the ‘ooh look at them disappearing up their own holes trying to be all unique’. I’m seeing no drawbacks,” O’Brien begged his wife as he woke her up at 3am.
“This isn’t a decision you can take and then laugh it off later like your David Moyes back tattoo, this is going on the birth cert,” reasoned Cliona, who is slowly realising some sort of compromise will have to made.
O’Brien, unable to shake the feeling that failing to name his child after the Dutch manager would be a real kick in the teeth to the an responsible for ending United’s 6-year trophy drought, suggested Cliona get ‘first dibs’ on naming their second child.
“Ah Cliona c’mon your brother passed away ages ago, that’s ancient history and just from a completely objective perspective Erik Ten Hag is better than Dermot,” O’Brien concluded, on the cusp of winning his wife around.