Irish Cold Cases That Internet Sleuths Could Solve In Minutes


MORE and more amateur sleuths are cracking cases that have stumped police for decades, thanks to little more than a five-minute Google search, a podcast listen or a watch of a Netflix documentary.

And while UK police currently investigating the case of a missing woman have urged these internet detectives (or ‘internectives’ as they like to be called) to stop flooding communication lines with misinformation, Irish cops are more open to help with the following:

1) The death of Brian Boru

The official explanation for the murder of 73-year-old High King Brian Boru has been dismissed as ‘somewhat suspect’ for over a thousand years now. Killed by a Viking in his tent, in Clontarf? Seems a bit too clean for the liking of the average Interective. Time for you lot to dig in for an hour or two and find out the truth that hundreds of historians have yet to uncover.

2) Sophie Toscan Du Plantier

This’ll be an easy one for you all. There’s at least two documentaries and a podcast to help you along. Don’t worry about any actual detective work, just give the basic facts the once over and take to Twitter to proclaim that it’s SO OBVIOUS who the killer is.

3) The disappearance of billions of public money

Some 60 billion euro of public money vanished in the late 2000s and has never been seen since. With neither police nor politicians showing any real interest in finding out who perpetrated this theft, this is one cold case where it might actually be no farm for some wannabe Poirots to start poking around.

4) Did Alannah really ride Colin Farrell

Almost every woman in Castleknock of a certain age claims to have ridden (and subsequently broken the heart of) Irish megastar Colin Farrell. In particular this one lady up the road from us, and it’s obvious to us all that she’s lying out of her arse. Someone with a bit of time on their hands, take a look at the dates and tell us we’re not crazy. None of it adds up, right?