The Sinn Féin Supporter’s Guide To Reacting To Negative Media Coverage

IT’S the well worn, predictable and pathetic tactic played out day in, day out in the media and online but just how should dyed in the wool Sinn Féin supporters react to having their party besmirched?

Prepare for all cynical swipes, blatant defamation and harmless enough observations with this indispensable guide:

– Behave as you would expect someone would behave after finding out a nemesis has pissed in their cornflakes, regardless of the severity of the perceived slight.

– Faint in the style of a Victorian lady whose corset was tied too tightly.

– Was the criticism or polite inquiry in any way legitimate? Did it come from someone you know would sooner stick their mickey in a blender than vote for the coalition parties? Not possible. Time to faint again.

– Everything is a shadowy conspiracy which the media executes in unison in a calculated and clandestine manner. But don’t say it in such a way that you look like a deranged conspiracy loon, this is the real type of conspiracy. “They got to you too, didn’t they?” strikes the right note when responding to someone who says something incendiary about the party’s stance on postage stamps.

– Petition the Oxford dictionary to replace the definition of infallible to ‘Sinn Féin’.

– Sometimes it’s important to admit you were wrong; in this case admitting you were wrong in thinking the party’s critics couldn’t sink any lower.