A ‘Heat Your Home This Winter Guide’ From Our Poverty Expert Viscountess Vera Du Bois III


IT’S the little things, small adjustments and a look at switching providers which can make the world of difference to your bank balance as we enter a winter in which increased energy prices and consumption could spell disaster for already struggling individuals.

Following the lead of other publications we have enlisted the help of an expert on energy usage and heating who knows what ordinary people are going through. Introducing our new cost of living correspondent Viscountess Vera Du Bois III:

Bills? Oh I don’t do any of that, that’s for the staff to worry about.

Reducing wasteful heat usage practices: I find moving from your summer house in November to your small unassuming woodland cottage with 12 guest chalets certainly helps.

I know how tough people are finding it: the drop in temperature has meant we’ve had to move my jewelry collection into a temperature controlled room – nothing worse than going to put on one of your blood diamond necklaces on in the morning and getting a little shock from how cold it is on your skin.

Blankets: it’s not all about throwing another log on one of your 27 fires, use your private jet to fetch your blankets from your Austrian ski lodge, but if like me you made a mistake and forgot you actually left those blankets in your New York penthouse simply get the gamekeeper on your winter estate to kill a few of your llama and use the wool from their carcasses.

Draughts: get one of your servants to line down across the bottom of a door to form a human draft excluder.