“Just Imagine My Heating Bill Is A Celtic Tiger Era Bank” Family Begs Taoiseach

AHEAD of the upcoming budget and much talk of the government introducing measures to help alleviate the cost of living difficulties experienced by families, one Waterford family has made a direct appeal to Taoiseach Micheál Martin.

“I’m trying to put it terms your conscience and that of your party can accept and defend against critics, so think of my heating bill as a reckless bank breaking all manner of laws and limits in 2008,” explained matriarch of the Fagan family, Denise, in a letter to the Taoiseach.

The Fagans have also appealed to the Taoiseach to persuade his coalition partner Leo Varadkar to do the unprecedented and side with the public over profit hungry companies.

“Look it, if you have to tell him we’re multi-national and Eamon we’re a data centre, we don’t mind just as long as we can that prized Celtic Tiger era bank treatment,” added Denise’s husband, John.

The Taoiseach had said there’s a ‘limit’ to what government can do to intervene in the costing of living crisis, a limit that doesn’t apply to the worry and anxiety experienced by many when it comes to meeting their financial obligations.

“See it’s easy, I can already hear the cogs turning in your mind and you breaking out all the stops to bail me out and make the energy firms pay, and by ‘pay’ in this case I mean settle for slightly lower but still eye-watering profits. Thanks Micheál,” added Denise closing out her begging letter.

Finished with their begging letter to the government, the Fagans then turned their attention to writing letters to their gym, school uniform provider, supermarket, insurance provider, swimming pool, internet provider and babysitter who have all put up their prices in recent months.