Truss To Make Johnson Look Like 12-Brained Offspring Of Stephen Hawking By Comparison


THOSE expecting Liz Truss’ reign as British prime minister to usher in a much needed era of competent, capable and integrity-filled leadership have been roundly laughed at as the 47-year-old is set to make Johnson look like the 12-brained offspring of Stephen Hawking by comparison, WWN can confirm.

“Oh I know you think the sentient cabbage was bad but we are sad to report it doesn’t get much better,” explained one British politics expert of Truss. “Liz hasn’t met a problem she hasn’t tried to fix by setting the solution on fire.”

“This Brexit Banter era is basically the Tory version of when The Beatles released Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band and The White Album one after another but instead of it being genius music, the Tories are releasing ever-shitter, brain-cell deficient moral black holes with the decision making prowess of sea dwelling microwave”.

Given the responsibility to select a leader with the foresight not to perform hara-kiri with the economy, Tory voters instead found the answer to the ‘what could be worse than Boris?’ question.

The intellectual equivalent of the sullied cigarette filled dregs of a pint left neglected in a pub beer garden, Truss presented one of two agonising choices for Tory voters who admitted the leadership contest coming down to a woman and a man from an ethnic minority was their worst nightmare.

The new Tory leader’s political career highlights thus far include shouting in a demented fashion about pork and cheese exports.

In response to having to give Truss her okay to form a government, the Queen is reportedly giving dying instead some serious consideration.

UPDATE: Truss has announced she has deleted the Northern Ireland Protocol from her desktop and thus solved all Brexit imposed trading issues.