Farmer Doing Something A Little Something Special This Slurry Season


RURAL Waterford is abuzz today, after a nearby farmer appears to have added a little je ne sais quoi to the thousands of gallons of slurry that he’s been pumping out around his fields since the start of the week.

“It always smells like a hot dogs arse when he’s spreading slurry, but whatever he’s done this year has really kicked it up a few notches in the rankness factor,” said one resident of the north Waterford countryside, who can smell the atrocious aroma being spread in the fields dozens of miles away from his home.

“Usually when he’s spreading slurry, my sheets smell like slurry when I take them in from the line. But this year, they smell like slurry and death,” beamed another lady we spoke to, who hasn’t learned in the last ten years that one doesn’t line-dry clothes in the countryside between August and September.

“Someone help me, I’m dying,” gurgled another, who had the misfortune of driving through the piquanté aroma and who will now have the smell in their car until forever.

Meanwhile, we have been unable to contact the farmer responsible for the mysterious, nostril-flaring slurry concoction, but luckily for those outside the immediate smell zone, the same farmer has also generously left as much of it lying on the roads criss-crossing the county as was possible. Cheers, mystery shite-soup maker!