Hospitality Worker Shortage: Dublin Venue Forced To Hire Rats

A POPULAR Dublin venue was issued with a closure order after evidence of rats and rat droppings were found on its premises however, the venue has appealed the decision by the Food Safety Authority of Ireland.

Citing industry wide staffing issues, the popular Pygmalion bar was forced to go full ‘Ratatouille’ and look further afield for waiters, kitchen porters and bar staff as a hiring drive turned up zero people willing to take up the positions.

“Honestly, no one wants to work these days. Young people? Forget it, they wouldn’t know work ethic if it hit them in the face. Rats on the other hand, they don’t take fag breaks or check their phones on the sly” confirmed one hospitality manager of an unnamed venue.

Inspectors reported seeing the rodents preparing pizzas, collecting glasses and smiling politely while drunk students asked them to take 70 group photos of the gals with their cocktails and despite the presence of rats raising the calibre of people usually found on the premises, the inspectors were forced to act. This news comes days after a desperately understaffed hotel in Killarney had its reception desk manned by a cow.

Hospitality managers have denied that a variety of employment laws they never stick to anyway do not apply to rats as a motivating factor to installing the rodents in their kitchens.

“I find them to be fantastic, when we’re short of door staff they slot in too. Any scaldy heads looking to cause trouble soon feck off after getting bitten and contracting rabies,” added a manager.