Domestic Abuse Trial Looks Way More Craic Than It Should Be


THE ongoing defamation case Johnny Depp has taken against Amber Heard has proven less harrowing than some feared and has instead provided fertile fodder for many of 2022’s choicest memes and GIFs, the media is ecstatic to report.

“Did you see the video that was just a picture of the shit Amber Heard took in Depp’s bed, where someone had given it googly eyes and made it lip-sync the OJ Simpson ‘glove doesn’t fit’ speech? Fuck me, I nearly died laughing,” said one reporter we spoke to, who really expected the trial and the reporting on it to be more hard-hitting.

Now well into proceedings, fans of Depp have reveled in his affected mannerisms while undergoing cross-examinations, with dozens of jaunty video remixes sprouting up with every apparent revelation about pair’s tumultuous relationship.

“Honestly, this is how news should be from now on. This trial had a chance to show that domestic abuse cases can result in catharsis and healing for the victims and greater societal awareness, but can you imagine how boring that would be to watch? Instead, just let the kids on TikTok at it, make the whole thing a hilarious meme factory and we’ll all be happy. Now if you’ll excuse me, someone just dropped a load of Captain Jack Sparrow dialogue over Depp’s testimony, this’ll be some craic altogether”.

The trial has also confirmed the fact that it’s not worth your while speaking out unless you have audio recordings of everything that happened in an abusive relationship for years, and even if you do most people will only believe what they want to anyway.