“Well, How Did Ye Get On Over The Christmas – Anything Happen?” Government Asks Nation


MARCHING through the doors with a beaming smile, refreshed from weeks off and more days off to come, the government was full of post-Christmas chat, even if they had a fairly quiet one.

“Had the phone switched off, you know yourself – work life balance is important and it’s the only time you get to spend a good chunk of time with family. D’ya have a good one yourself?” offered Taoiseach to the nation, who he hasn’t seen in ages.

“Go way, the whole family? You’re joking. And did you isolate in separate rooms? Ah that’s lovely, the neighbours left a bitta turkey at the front step. You know, I think you’re the first person I met who has got it,” continued the Taoiseach.

Listing off the box sets they got through and the Zen like state they achieved after finally getting to relax and recharge, government ministers were ready to tackle the nations’ ongoing tasks and problems which were frozen in place, unchanged, for 3 weeks.

“Jesus, 10,000 unread emails. Oh well, probably spam from companies trying to push daft last minute Christmas gift ideas. Yup, I was right, look here, some lad trying to sell PCR testing capacity. Chancers,” Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly said aloud, logging on for the first time since his appointment.

“Lol, do they ever take a day off, I’ve 800 voicemails from teachers’ unions harping on about something called ‘staggered opening’? I’m sure schools will be fine as the context has not changed since mid-December and everything was fine then too,” remarked Minister for Education Norma Foley, ignoring the curent covid-free teacher to pupil ratio of 1-to-55,000.