Woman Armed With Gin Glass Storms NPHET Meeting, Demands To Know When Girlos Can Go On Mad One


“YOU HAVE me head wrecked Tony Holohan,” shouted an irate Sandra Carmody, gin escaping her glass as she gesticulated wildly and demanded clarification on impending NPHET recommendations to government ahead of the Christmas sessioning season.

Storming a National Public Health Emergency Team meeting Carmody, at the end of her tether, sought clarification on fate of a future piss up with the girlos painstakingly planned weeks ago on the ‘???????’ WhatsApp group.

“Tracy was up the walls with trying to book a place, stress up to 90 because of you. Don’t get me started on things shutting at midnight. And now, will it all be cancelled? Haven’t had the girlos in one place in God knows how long. This isn’t good Tony. You can call me Google Maps ‘cus I’m going through you for a shortcut,” continued Carmody, before asking if anyone had a spare tonic.

“Ronan love, all due respect – I’ve nickers older than you so you can pipe down. The girlos – we need this. Sarah has said she’s not begging her dose husband to look after the kids for her to head all the way into town only for us to be sitting at separate tables, Tony? Not having it,” continued Carmody.

“We’re not taking people dying of a virus here, we’re talking something much more important; Rachel, Sarah, Sandra, Tracy and Aoife getting out of our bins on gin.”

“Tony… Tony! Look at me,” an unraveling Carmody shouted, “the last ride Aoife got was at Tayto Park, I haven’t heard a non-Baby Shark song in 6 months. I’ll hand stitch a dress entirely out of masks, c’mon Professor Pessimistic, give the girlos some hope”.