Local Man Offers To Give Backlogged Garda Forensic Lab A Hand Testing Drugs

A COUNTY Waterford man has kindly offered to help the national Garda forensic lab a ‘dig out’ after hearing news it was struggling to keep up with the amount of drug seizures it had to test due to staffing levels and have to now “prioritise” which seizures they test.

Dicey Rogers, (28), stated he and several of his mates will gladly help out Forensic Science Ireland with whatever suspected drugs backlog, and will even help incinerate the contraband once tested.

“Meself and the lads will do the lot; test it, weigh it and then bring it off to a secret location to burn it,” Dicey told WWN from his 3-bedroom semi-d in Larchville, west of the city, “fuckin’ Padjo has a van an’ all an’ we could spin up whenever ta fuck an’ get cracking – we’ll fukin’ fly through the lot”.

Rogers’ offer comes at a time when gardaí have been making huge amounts searches over the pandemic, stating that he understands the need for testing as the courts are backed up.

“I’ve a possession against me so it would be great to test what they found in the gaff and prove it’s only CBD hemp flower,” Dicey explains, who was caught with 28 grams of herb-like material in January last, “sure it’s like shooting fish in a barrel for Gardaí these days… guarantee you if they raided ten random homes in Ireland, half of them would have some form of illegal substance – no wonder their clogged”.

Despite his heartfelt offer, Forensic Science Ireland have since declined Mr. Rogers, and along with several thousand more.

“Please, we’re not hiring people to test drugs, stop calling us,” Forensic Science Ireland pleaded.