Public Warned Not To Fall For Frostbit Boy’s Elaborate Rebranding Attempt To Become ‘Stranded Dolphin Man’


AN AMBITIOUS covert marketing campaign said to cost millions has seen the LA-based management team behind viral sensation Frostbit Boy attempt to rebrand him as ‘eejit lost 4km out to sea having the chats with dolphins’, a move branding experts have called the most ambitious rebrand since Opel Fruits became Starburst and BackRub became Google.

“His team worked on months for this, don’t fall for it, this isn’t genuine – the Castaway look? It’s fake. The dolphins? Actors in suits. They’d have you believe he’s evolving like a Pokemon, what’s after Stranded Dolphin Man? ‘Auld Fella Fights Gorilla’?” explained one person with a working knowledge of the lucrative ‘viral star’ game.

“Do you have any idea how much money there is to be made in the viral meme game? The RTÉ man who slipped on ice set up a safety equipment company – worth billions now. Crystal Swing? They’re on a 500 night residency in a Las Vegas,” explained the expert.

Citing how a minor viral story can be enough to get a person a 30 minute slot on the Late Late Show and a five movie deal at Netflix, experts have said a number of formerly viral stars are often tempted to have a second bite at the fame apple.

“Look at this, as if further proof was needed,” said our expert, showing us the 64-page ‘brand bible’ produced by Frostbit Boy’s team and issued to the media, full of glossy photos and price points showing how much ‘Stranded Dolphin Man’ charges for appearances at Communions, wakes, Bar Mitzvahs and new Credit Union openings.