Horrible Assholes Asked To Go One Day Without Blaming Stranger’s Death On Vaccine, Thanks


AS THE NUMBER of instances involving callous morons with room temperature IQs falsely claiming they have the inside track on the death of a stranger they have never met, a ‘could you stop being a parasitic asshole for just one day’ alert has been issued by the sane portion of the population.

“Hey, call me ‘someone in control of my mental faculties’ but when a family is mourning the death of a loved one I don’t spend the day mindlessly waffling about a stranger, but that’s just me; a non irredeemable thunder cunt of a person,” shared the vast majority of the population.

“You may have a screenshot of some entirely random and unsubstantiated claim which clutches at straws that never existed in the first place, but did you know you don’t have to share it? Nor do you have to make grieving families lives much worse than they already are,” confirmed a non-asshole.

Updated advice has been issued to people whose most commonly uttered phrases are now ‘I’m just asking questions’ or ‘legitimate concerns’, as it clear they have no idea what these words mean.

“It’s still unclear exactly what’s in these people’s heads, it’s certainly not a brain. Perhaps it’s condensed Billy Roll put through a meat grinder backwards, as this is the only thing that could explain the thinking of these soulless fuck trumpets,” explained one person, who has the misfortune of having a ‘I’m not a sheep’ in his family.

Calls have grown for the internet to adopt a driver’s licence model for social media usage in a bid to stop idiots thinking everything they read on the internet is real. Provisional licences would be handed out to people who can prove they won’t just use the internet to hound and harass grieving families. The failure rate is expected to be substantial among the ‘I do my own research’ crowd.

UPDATE: the HSE is treating a small group of space cadets for injuries suffered after jumping to conclusions.