IT’S TOUGH out there trying to navigate the housing situation in Ireland, what with the cost of rent, the difficulty saving for a mortgage and being able to afford a home at all, all while the government just seems to making decisions designed to make you so angry you burst a blood vessel and dislocate a bollock.
According to the latest Central Statistics Office research as many as 50% parents with adult children living at home want them to move out.
Be aware of the subtle signs your parents want rid ASAP:
– They’ve changed the password on the Netflix account.
– One of them has hinted that they’ll sell their kidney on the black market if it’ll help you buy a house by the end of next week.
– They’ve put you up on Daft.ie
– They frequently start sentences with ‘now you know we love having you here but’.
– All your belongings are either in a skip or wedged in a car and your Dad’s in the driver’s seat with the engine on saying ‘we better getting moving now or will be stuck in traffic’.
– Your parents are government TDs and are beside themselves with worry that if you don’t move out the poor investment funds hoovering up cramped apartments will lose out on valuable rental income.
– After another heated disagreement, they’ve threatened to move out.
– They snapped and finally said you’d have a place of your own if you weren’t constantly buying avocados.
– You’ve overheard them on the phone to the DSPCA asking if they take humans.
– They’re so desperate they commissioned a leading news publication to write about it. Niall, love, you’ve ’til the end of the month to find somewhere else, I’d give you longer but you know what your father’s like.
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