“You Ride A Dozen Sheep & You Unfairly Gain A Reputation”


“THESE belittling stereotypes are too easily thrown about rural people, it’s hateful,” said local man Bernie McDormand, serial sheep botherer.

“Take the McCormick farm across the way, it’s just not fair the likes of him and myself get those quare looks from folks and our names dragged through the mud,” continued McDormand, who’s been warned enough now by the guards, mentioning his farming peer Liam McCormick who has never been labeled a ‘sheep shagger’ by anyone because, unlike, McDorman, he hasn’t been caught at it 12 times.

“Hateful language, and me only trying to work an honest day and earn a living. Noleen down the shop still won’t let me cross the threshold, all because of the reputation other people have given me,” raged McDorman, who again, wouldn’t have a reputation at all only for the Cleary’s eldest catching with the high beams on his car last year.

“There’s some awful disturbed people out there, with rotten minds, stuck in the gutter,” McDormand added, talking not of himself, but of people who accurately call him a sheep defiler.

“Where did that harmful stereotype start about sheep farmers anyway? Probably some Sasanach propaganda back in the day. Hope you’re happy, do the English’s bidding with your pathetic auld gossip,” McDormand continued, even though it made the papers the last time he was at it.

Now visibly upset, McDormand tearfully croaked.

“What I have done at all, at all to earn such a reputation?” he concluded, staring off across the field with a fierce want in his eyes.