Traffic Chaos As Dozens Of Protesting Fishermen Take To Dublin Streets


GARDAÍ are warning Dublin motorists to avoid the city centre at all costs after dozens of fishing vessels suddenly took to land and made their way to protest outside the makeshift Dáil at the National Convention Centre, WWN can confirm.

“How the hell these things have become amphibious is anyone’s guess, but people need to get out of the boat’s way as these lads are very irate and are not stopping for anyone,” a garda spokesperson advised, before diving out of the way of a 25-metre vessel making its way through the city, dragging unsuspecting pedestrians behind it who got caught in its nets.

Eventually falling on their sides upon stopping outside the Convention Centre, hundreds of fishermen flooded the streets below in a scene reminiscent to an alien invasion, while people present pinched their noses in disgust at the smell of rotten fish.

“The fucking state of the place, bleedin’ culchies in woolly hats everywhere,” offered one Dublin man who slipped on some fish guts, “give them whatever they want before they have Dublin smelling like a kip… I mean, more than it does already”.

Fishermen have been raising their concerns after a Brexit trade deal was signed in December that left the Irish fishing sector at a serious disadvantage, forcing them to weigh their catch on piers.

“What, are we supposed to stand up to our European partners to protect our vast abundance of fishing spots?” a government spokesperson replied to the calls, “we gave away our oil and gas fields to Big Petroleum, our forests to Big Timber, what makes you think we’re bothered about protecting this valuable resource when we can let super tankers ravage our shores against all environmental and eco-friendly advice? Ireland sold itself to the EU in the 1970s – get over it, you buffoons”.