Local Man Sickened He Didn’t Think Of Hosting Mother’s Funeral In Boxing Club

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AS the department of the Taoiseach dedicates resources to making a molehill out of a mountain following the Taoiseach’s attendance in December at a ‘work event’ in a Cork boxing club, elsewhere one local man is cursing his own monumental stupidity.

“You could say my mother, who died alone in a nursing home, was ‘hard work’ at times but I never thought using the bullshit ‘it’s work’ excuse to reclassify her funeral. We could have lingered indoors for photos with no masks too,” explained local man Henry Caffrey.

“I just feel like a right eejit when all I needed was to ‘do a Taoiseach’ and use the old work excuse to pick and choose the rules that suited me,” added Caffrey, who doesn’t strike us as a Fianna Fáil voter going forwards.

Ahead of imminent legal action taken by the Irish public accusing the users of the ‘all in this together’ slogan as having committed ‘gross fraud’, a government spokesperson tried to clarify the situation.

“Reasonable people will agree that accepting an invitation to hand over a trophy named after his late father in a boxing club in Cork in December, at the time you’re ignoring NPHET’s advice ahead of a surge in Covid, is an essential ‘work’ event that couldn’t be avoided,” said a government spokesperson with a straight face.

“Dubai boob jobs, Dublin footballers training, people drinking in the sunshine, Bobby Storey funeral, now fuck off,” concluded the spokesperson.

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