Nation Admits It Would Lick Vaccine Off A Scabby Leg At This Stage


CONCERNS surrounding the effectiveness of the Covid-19 vaccine or the possible side effects are not front-of-mind for most Irish people according to a new survey, with almost 100% of people polled admitting that they’d gladly drink it out of a smelly welly if given the chance.

Although the effectiveness of vaccines such as the AstraZeneca shot has been questioned by some medical professionals, it seems that when it comes to getting this coronavirus ‘over and done with’, people are willing to take their chances with a slightly less effective dose if it means they’ll get back to a normal work-life-pub routine this year.

“It can’t hurt to try, can it?” said one Waterford man we spoke to, while licking the tyre tracks of the van that delivered a consignment of vaccinations to a local hospital.

“I’ll take whatever I can get” added one woman when asked if she would have a preference for Pfizer, Moderna or ‘the English one’.

“In fact if you’re going in for a shot yourself, will you save me the needle of it? I reckon if I can get ten or more old syringes, that’d be a dose for me. There’s bound to be a dribble left in the bottom of one of those vials, so come with me this evening and we’ll go rooting through the medical waste bins out the back”.

Although officials are warning that even vaccinated people can still transfer the illness to their loved ones and that the country won’t be safe until everyone is vaccinated, the ‘get the jab and go fucking nuts’ sentiment remains high in Waterford, and indeed around the nation.