Insurance Company Wouldn’t Have Given Insurance If It Knew It Would Have To Honour Insurance Cover


THE INSURANCE industry has been rocked by the recent Commercial Court test case decision delivered against FDB insurers in favour of pubs seeking cover for the things they paid to be covered for, which has potentially devastating consequences for the industry.

“Now hang on a bloody second,” a sweating, panicked CEO of insurance firm Never Pay Out, “if we knew the insurance game involved having to fork out we wouldn’t be in it”.

“This is a living nightmare,” added NPO’s CEO, “do you know how many stories about some lad getting 10k for hurting his finger it’ll take to get the public back on our side? Not that many, actually, surprisingly enough but still, this isn’t how insurance works, we’re supposed to fight you tooth and nail and win while our nice TV ads tell you ‘we’re here for you'”.

However, not all insurance brokers see the recent judgement as a negative.

“A few of us have already given the nod and the wink to up the premiums, pass the costs onto customers, and sure if that doesn’t work we’ve told the government in advance we’ll accept a bank-style bailout whenever we decide we’ll need one,” confirmed a spokesperson for insurance industry body Not A Cartel.

Elsewhere, people looking for an update into the various investigations into the insurance industry engaging in price fixing have been told to ‘fuck off and know your place’.