Teacher Doesn’t Care If Schools Are Closed, She Wants 300 St Brigid’s Cross On Her Fucking Desk By 3pm

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MÚINTEOIR O’Neill has had it up to here with bullshit excuses about ‘pandemics’ and ‘health and safety’, and has reiterated that she expects students to have their St. Brigid’s Cross on her desk by the end of the day or face serious consequences.

“Some things are pandemic proof children, I don’t want any of your excuses, fuck off into the nearest hedge or forest and get making crosses,” Ms O’Neill, teacher at St Jessica Fletcher NS, told her first class students over Zoom in her best ‘Don’t make me get Principal McCormac’ voice.

Pupils noted they hadn’t seen Ms O’Neill this angry since Jack pissed himself live in the middle of the nativity Zoom several weeks ago, and that the ‘rural wifi reception’ excuse wouldn’t work today.

“Now Ellen don’t give me that bullshit, your parents working doesn’t mean you can’t show a bit of initiative and make the cross and walk it the 8km to school. Don’t worry about the guards, St Brigid’s Cross making is marked as an ‘essential service and journey’,” warned Ms O’Neill.

“Peter, don’t think I can’t see you’ve just printed off a picture of a Brigid’s Cross you lazy little… Cormac what do you mean ‘there’s no rushes’ in your back garden? Take me out there on your iPad this instant and show me!” continued Ms O’Neill, who also terrified parents to the point none were brave enough to intervene.

“Ah Jesus Grainne, that’s a Swastika! Now class, see that – Grainne might not have got it perfect but at least she handed it in in person,” concluded Ms O’Neill.

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