Smug Ireland Tells England It Has Been In Lockdown For Weeks


AS England officially enters a second lockdown today, a smug Irish population couldn’t resist pointing out that it actually had the ‘foresight’ to go into a lockdown a few weeks ago and it’s going quite well actually, thanks for asking.

“Oh, you’re only going into lockdown now, is it?” one coy Irish woman asked condescendingly, living for the fact she could lord it over Ireland’s colonial neighbour.

“Well, we’ve actually been locked down for Jesus, it must be weeks now at this stage? Can’t believe there was countries not doing it, wow” shared a smug Irish man, who screamed blue murder when a second lockdown was announced in Ireland.

Now making sure to watch a bit of UK telly, Irish people scoffed, tutted and laughed incredulously at the debates the English people were having over something Ireland has been living under since the 21st of October.

It is believed England isn’t the only country be to in receipt of polite queries about entering lockdown as Irish people are also believed to have been in touch with France, Germany and Spain among others.

“I was straight onto Facebook to a French friend I made when on Erasmus, hadn’t talked to him in 10 years but just wanted to express my shock and let him know Ireland actually had the idea first,” shared another Irish woman, radiating nauseating levels of self-approval and satisfaction.