WATERFORD family the O’Hughs are set to take their chances on a lower tier health insurance cover, saving a significant amount of money as long as they don’t get sick or injured between now and next year, WWN can confirm.
“Okay, it says here that we’re covered if you catch on fire, if someone injures you, but not if you injure yourself. And for the love of God, lads, would you do me a favour and don’t get cancer in the next 12 months, thanks,” explained dad Arthur, outlining the terms of the family’s new policy.
“Any minor dings or nicks, say nothing. If the leg isn’t hanging off you, you’ll be grand,” he added, now duct taping absorbent material around any sharp corners in the house.
This will be the first year the O’Hughs haven’t opted for fully comprehensive health insurance after a sudden sharp rise in premiums following what insurers are blaming on covid-19 measures in private hospitals, declaring the hike as ‘too complicated to explain in detail to plebs’.
“Private hospitals, cost of drugs, coronavirus tests; that kind of thing,” said a joint statement from Irish Life, Laya, and VHI, when asked why a healthy family with a good no-claims history and full NCT would suddenly have to pay hundreds more per year for the same insurance policy.
“These increases will ensure patients enjoy more or less the same care as before, while also allowing our shareholders vast bonuses and perks”.
Meanwhile, families such as the O’Hughs were praised for their ‘pay for insurance, but never actually use any of the services’ approach to their policy.