BREAKING: Scientists Discover First Non-Covid Related Conversation In 6 Months


EMBRACING each other while crying tears of joy; US based scientists are celebrating the news the world was desperate to hear ever since Covid-19 emerged in the Wuhan province of China late last year.

For the first time since February 2020 scientists have observed mutations in conversations had by humans which contain zero trace or mention of Covid-19, providing a pathway toward Covid-conversation immunity.

“We analysed thousands of conversations, but no matter the topic; a married man running off with the babysitter, a business merger, a train being late – it all came back to Covid-19,” shared Dr Nina Sharpe, who was part of one of over 400 international clinical trials seeking to find a way for conversations to evolve beyond pandemic-related chit chat.

Where was the conversation found? What heroes did the talking? And what about? Look no further than Waterford, Ireland, friends Bernie Owens and Clare O’Dowd, and the subject of their daughters’ respective weights.

“Oh God, it was a joy to listen to,” explained Dr Sharpe, “upwards of an hour of really personal, hurtful and sharp criticism of their daughters. Their weight, careers and life choices. Then they talked about what useless pricks their husbands are – it was music to our ears. Not a reference to a pandemic in sight.”

Bernie and Clare for their part have humbly talked down all mention of being ‘heroes’ but admit they are happy to play their part.

“We just hope the nature of our conversation and our steely focus on a specific subject can be replicated by others around the world,” confirmed Bernie, before producing a photo of her daughter and remarking ‘dya see what I mean?’