Sex Workers Inundated With Requests To Sneeze On People Since Covid-19 Emerged

THE CORONAVIRUS pandemic has brought many changes into all our lives both personally and professionally, but none more so than for the sex workers of our cities and towns who have been inundated with requests from clients to indulge in a whole new kink known as ‘Germing’.

“During lockdown, I had one guy who paid me to come around to my flat and just sit there. I didn’t even have to be in at the time; it was enough of a thrill for him to be in a house that wasn’t his own for a change,” said Optimus Prime [Editor’s note; not her real name].

“This other bloke, he paid big money for what he considered ‘the dirtiest thing imaginable’, which was a role-playing game where I sat too close to him on a bus and coughed without fully covering my face. The game has completely changed”.

Although this new world of extreme sexual kinkiness where ‘the ultimate taboo’ is not being certain whether or not you’ve brought your mask with you to the shops, safety remains at the forefront of sex work.

“They’ll offer you extra money to not use hand sanitiser, but most of us won’t entertain that at all” said Gimli, son of Glóin [Editor’s note; again, not his real name].

“Instead, we’re aware that we’re providing a service to a community on the edge of their mental well being. Whereas before, all they wanted was some sex, now they want to feel alive by breaking a whole slate of rules that didn’t exist six months ago. I’ve got one client who just wants to pretend that I’m a pedestrian crossing and he presses the button with his hand and not his elbow”.

Meanwhile, other clients prefer to keep their trysts to text contact only, with sex workers receiving multiple requests to ‘text me and tell me you’ve a fever and a sore throat since you saw me last’.