INTERNET users around the world have come out in unison today to inform the companies behind earwax removal that yes, they’re fine for earwax removal tips, and no, they do not want to buy Q-Grips anytime soon.
“Please fuck right off with this manky shite,” everyone urged the manufacturer, whose revealing images have been clogging internet advertising spaces since the start of the Covid-19 lockdown, “seriously, of all things we don’t need right now is pictures of filthy dark brown earwax being extracted from someone’s ears – please kindly piss off, thanks”.
The surge in earwax removal adverts comes amid billions in advertising revenues being pulled by the big brands of the world, leaving just about every publisher in economic limbo, but some with very clean ears.
“These aren’t actually bad,” explained one local news editor, now on the covid-19 welfare payment, “I know we’ve had to make staff redundant because Big Brand failed to realise that the past few months were actually the busiest in terms of online traffic, but boy, earwax removal companies really got their nickels worth and my ears sure are clean. I can even hear all the notifications pinging from my email inbox, reminding me of all the invoices that are due. Thanks, Q-Grip”.
Meanwhile, internet users complaining about the recurring advert continue to be oblivious to the fact that clicking on such an ad space actually helps publications like this one, but can alternatively subscribe HERE for the price of a fancy coffee and help support this free to read publication.
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