Man Goes Straight Back To Bed After Realising Fianna Fáil Back In Power Wasn’t Just A Dream


ONE LOCAL IRISH man has made the reasonable decision to go straight back to bed after realising Fianna Fáil returning to power wasn’t just the worst possible nightmare his slumbering brain could have come up with to scare him half to death.

“Ah fuck this,” correctly stated Cormac Preston as he knocked back a sleeping pill before burying his head beneath the duvet and screaming into his pillow as he struggled to understand how such a thing could have happened.

Preston had planned on carrying out his day as normal by working a full day, interacting with his family, but having to deal with Fianna Fáil being back in power after all the damage they’ve done requires at least 24 hours of wallowing in bed, cursing out every last corrupt member of the hated party and intermittent bouts of ugly crying.

“Typical stupid Irish voters,” Preston incorrectly stated, failing to take into account that over 75% of the electorate didn’t vote for Fianna Fáil.

Former judges have been placed on high alert with Fianna Fáil back in power and it is believed they are already preparing for the inevitable corruption-related tribunals to come, while those dedicated to conducting their life and business in an honest fashion have been told to look elsewhere for work.

Elsewhere, brown envelope salesman are reportedly ecstatic at the news of Fianna Fáil’s return to government.