ONE LOCAL man is using his downtime during the ongoing pandemic to develop a new pastime of repeatedly sharing complex graphs presumably related to Covid-19 in some way, not that he’d know it.
“Interesting,” went the remark penned by Waterford man John Bollins above a post on his social media accounts; three impenetrably complex graphs he clearly could not derive any real information from.
Looking to make himself appear busy or perhaps to give off the impression that somehow within the cogs of his mind lies the key intellectual brilliance needed to definitively end the spread of Covid-19 and provide a vaccine.
However, far from successfully giving this impression, Bollins has, according to friends, merely reinforced the belief that he hasn’t the first clue as to what is going on and he’s just trying, and failing, to appear smart.
“John’s swinging big with the graphs, but I’ll be fucked if he knows what he’s sharing,” explained a friend of Bollins, while looking at his friend’s latest post which seemed to be a pie chart labeled ‘graph’ detailing the exponential increase in graphs being shared by a growing number of people who think they understand graphs.
Speaking about the key public service he mistakenly thinks he’s providing, Bollins explained his social media followers and friends rely on him, their towering intellectual titan, to distill the incredibly detailed down to easily understandable information.
“The old Y-axis there not looking good there, and that could pandemically exponetialate itself and then your X-axis…forget about it,” Bollins confirmed, genuinely proud of himself.