“I’m Putting The Little Bastards Up For Adoption”: Read Some Of Ireland’s Heartwarming Covid-19 Stories


AS WE COLLECTIVELY persevere through these challenging times together as a nation, each day brings with it heartwarming stories that restores people faith in humanity as empathy and solidarity triumphs.

Playful generosity, solemn sacrifice, reaching out to those in need and simply making do; WWN has collected together those stories that have moved so many people here Ireland:

“If Covid-19 doesn’t kill him, I fucking will,” Carmel Tracey (70), from Dublin, entering day 17 of isolating with her husband Derek.

“I’m putting the little bastards up for adoption,” Darren and Emma Coogan, parents of four kids under the age of 10.

“I’m putting the little bastards up for adoption,” Elaine and Gerry Brogan, parents of four kids over the age of 30.

“This down time has made me a lot more productive, this is the most I’ve masturbated in years. Usually I’m just too busy to get it done,” Sarah Slattery (30), furloughed worker in Cork.

“I wouldn’t have been able to carry out my work this easily under normal circumstances, so I’m probably one of the few people benefiting from this pandemic,” Ciaran Clatterton (41), budding serial killer and disposer of bodies under the cover of darkness in Galway.

“The innovation from people across industries as they grapple with Covid-19 is inspiring, how people have adapted blows my mind,” Michael Clanton (26), criminal who now that people are always at home, steals car keys through the letter box using a long pole with a magnet on the end of it so that he ensures he maintains a responsible minimum of two metres away from people.

“It’s not all bad, I did an April fools on my kid the other day by pretending schools were open again, her poor heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and she wouldn’t stop crying when I told her, actually you won’t get to see your friends or get back to a normal life but you’d want to see the views my hilarious video of it got,” Brian Harty, parent from Dublin.

It’s stories like these that help to inspire us and keep us going during incredibly challenging times.