RESEARCHING for hours to find the most accessible, but remotest place in their vicinity, the Ryan family set out on their mission to outdo just about every other family on social media with their extreme version of social distancing.
“Make sure to bring all the phone chargers; we don’t want to be in the middle of nowhere without a picture to prove it,” dad Tommy Ryan told his wife and three kids as they bundled into the car.
Sick of making the mistake of visiting popular scenic locations packed full of like minded families trying to get out of the house amid a virus lockdown, the Ryan family this time opted for a peat bog in Roscommon.
“Stop whinging, guys, it’s only been four hours walking, you kids are made of nothing these days,” Tommy shouted back at his two remaining children, desperately scouring for a remote shot to stage, “I’m sure we’ll find your mam and brother on the way back – they can’t have gone far. Now, stand up on that mound there till I take another picture of us. That’s it, now smile for Christ sakes, it’s not the end of the world”.
Following another two hours trying to find a signal to upload his remote social distancing post, the now father of one decided it best to call the local search and rescue helicopter in the hopes of locating the rest of his family as it was getting dark.
“Totally worth it,” he thought to himself while being winched into a helicopter, now scrolling through pictures of his family before uploading them to Instagram with the words ‘not a sinner in sight. Blessed’, “lets see the O’Brien’s across the street beat that one”.