Local Man Not Cancelling Holidays Even If It Fucking Kills Him

A COUNTY Waterford father of two has vowed that no matter how bad the Covid-19 virus gets, he’s still going on holidays to Spain, even if it fucking kills him, WWN can confirm.

“Ryanair will probably not refund a single cent and if you think I’m just throwing away good money like that then you’ve got another thing coming,” Paul Savage shouted at the cosmos, hoping the Coronavirus heard, “this is our first family holiday in 10 years and I’ll be fucked if I’m cancelling it”.

Citing a relatively young family and his own selfishness as his excuse for heroically ignoring all advice, Savage added that he will swim to mainland Spain if he has to, making sure to avoid the worst hit Basque region and making his way around Portugal if needed.

“I’ve a friend with a boat so if it comes to it I’ll borrow that, the sea can’t be that choppy at this time of year,” he contemplated, now shopping for life jackets on Chinese drop shipping website, wish, before realising China is probably not the best country to be buying safety equipment from right now.

With the news that all travellers coming to and from Spain and Italy are to self-isolate for two weeks, Savage defended his unorthodox move.

“That’s just perfect for us really as we’ll be on holidays for two weeks there, and I don’t mind taking another two when I’m back in Ireland as I’m sure everything will still be in lockdown and I won’t have to go to work,” he concluded.