Sorry For The Late Notice: Greta Thunberg Has Cancelled Christmas


THE SWEDISH teenage climate activist admitted the move would understandably upset some people but that the damage done to the environment generated by the making, wrapping and posting of gifts, and the gas-guzzling flights home to loved ones is too severe and must end.

The cancellation of the beloved celebrations will come as a blow to people who love time-honoured traditions such as Christmas crackers, ham and turkey and Christmas gifts which are, from this moment onwards, no more.

Showcasing her remarkable and impressive influence on everyone except the world’s leading politicians, teenage Thunberg has managed to convince everyone to abandon Christmas, aside from apoplectic middle-aged men who continue to have coronaries at the mere mention of her name.

“This is something that is definitely happening and something that Thunberg is directly and solely in charge of,” confirmed experts of how you decide to reduce or increase your carbon footprint.

Somberly and reluctantly accepting that ‘yeah, that makes sense’ people across the world admitted if they were serious about positive action on Climate Change it might be a good idea to end a seasonal holiday with an immense carbon footprint that generates vast amounts of hastily made and disposable items as part of an insatiable orgy of consumerism.

A small but vocal minority of those people subjected to being told how bad the ill effect of Christmas is for the environment have labeled all climate crusaders as ‘insufferable killjoys’.

Thunberg’s move to end Christmas has come in for some criticism after she appeared in public holding the decapitated head of Santa Claus aloft while declaring “I’m the Santa Claus now” in a fever dream belonging to Piers Morgan.