Americans Reserving Judgement On Trump Impeachment Until Netflix Doc Comes Out


DESPITE explosive testimony from a number of witnesses including US ambassador Gordon Sondland, American citizens worried by the idea the leader of their country could have grossly abused the office of the president and broken the law are maintaining their desire to catch up on all this later in a juicy Netflix documentary.

“Shh! No spoilers I haven’t watched the first episode,” shared one American citizen who began getting excited at the thought of watching a moody black and white title sequence to an as yet unmade Netflix documentary probably called ‘Impeaching A President’.

Netflix true crime documentaries remain the chief educational resource for people worldwide who seek to understand events they lived through but were too lazy to pay attention to at the time.

Asked to stop fidgeting for five minutes Americans politely declined to stop fidgeting for five seconds, pointed out they only watched gritty true crime documentaries on streaming services.

“I’m not impatient, I’m willing to wait until the make, finish and release the documentary. After all, nothing is more important than putting aside time to really binge footage of a powerful and corrupt individual being taken down but only at a later date and in the form of a Netflix doc,” added another American.

“What, do I look like an idiot? You think I’m going to waste all this time following this immensely important point in our country’s history when the dudes who made The Devil Next Door will probably make a documentary it in like 2o years? No thanks!”

Elsewhere, a shirtless Rudy Giuliani has offered to defend President Trump in trial by combat if the president’s supporters finally accept the offer to reengage with reality and turn on him.