Man’s LinkedIn Profile Would Swear He Didn’t Shit Himself At House Party Last Month

SHOWCASING a warm smile that communicated an approachable yet professional demeanour, Cathal Drealin’s new LinkedIn profile bore no traces of the man who as recently as 4 weeks ago had to excuse himself from a house party after shitting his pants.

Using LinkedIn to detail his career achievements to date while also using it as a venue for the circulation of very serious sounding industry articles and insights, Drealin’s profile would have you believe this is not the same man who had to permanently retire a pair of Calvin Klein boxers due to partying a little too hard.

The only trace of evidence on the popular business networking website that betrayed Drealin’s ‘all business’ front was a 2015 status which simply said ‘Work hard. Play hard.’, in stark contrast to his presence at the notorious party which saw him shirtless with a tie around his head passionately rapping the lyrics to ‘Fuck Tha Police’ while atop a kitchen counter.

“This sort of stuff is unheard of, Mr. Drealin is surely committing fraud? Advertising himself on there like he has his shit together – excuse the pun – but his shit was last seen running down his trouser leg as he sobbed about how the Special K monster had gotten him again to a house plant that he later pissed on,” explained one business specialist.

However, far from sparking fears that other people may be hiding their true selves on LinkedIn behind a veneer of respectability and comptetency, it is believed Drealin is the sole example of such dishonesty.